Sunday, January 29, 2006

Dumb things I probably shouldn't admit to here

Living on your own is tons of fun. You can walk around all day in your boxers... be a slob for a week until you get disgusted with yourself and go on a massive cleaning spree... use foldup chairs as dining room furniture for an unspecified but very long length of time... leave little hairs from your electric shaver all over the bathroom sink... leave the toilet seat up... not that I do any of those things of course.

And besides, the myriad annoying little messes one can manage to make around the house isn't the issue here--it's the myriad opportunities for doing really dumb things that living on your own provides.

The Dryer
So here I am. I think it's about midday on Saturday and the laundry is really starting to pile up (oh that's another annoying mess for the list: saving 5 bucks by eschewing a hamper and piling your laundry in a heap on the bedroom floor). So I throw in a load and let it go. Finishes fine. I throw it in the dryer. Throw another in the washer. The washer finishes. The dryer finishes. The clothes in the dryer are, if it's possible, wetter than when they started. Ah well, oblivious me just decides they need more time. So I throw em back in on full power and let it rip. An hour later... clothes still soaked, and clothes in the washer probably starting to mildew. So I finally catch on that something is up.

I take all the clothes out and stare blankly around the insides of the washer. Then it hits me! That little contraption hidden in the back there is probably the lint filter! Now, since I didn't know it was there until now, it clearly hasn't been changed... ever. I wish more than ever I had a digital camera, because the chunk of lint stuck in this thing was truly impressive: about an inch thick layer of tightly compressed petrified lint comes out in my hand when I get this thing open. Needless to say the dryer works wonderfully after that.

Oatmeal + Microwave

I love sales, I definitely inherited this from my mom. Whenever I go grocery shopping almost everything I end up buying is on sale. So, this week they had Quaker Oatmeal for half off and I got a few containers. The change of pace in breakfast food would definitely be appreciated I figured. The next morning I get out one of my Tupperware containers, pour in some Oatmeal and some water, add a pinch of salt, and stick the sucker in the microwave, and walk away.

I go brush my teeth, start getting my work stuff gathered up, get some clothes on, and head back to the kitchen when the microwave beeps. I open the microwave door... and there is literally Oatmeal coating every single surface but the bottom of my tupperware container where it should be! What a mess... I'm still not quite sure what I did wrong, but I put a lid on now, and check on the stuff in one minute intervals in case it decides to try any funny business.

The Furnace
This one occurred a little while back, sometime in December, right as it was starting to get cold for the first time. I'm sitting at home, on the computer I think, when the thought suddenly occurs to be that I'm freezing cold. It's literally to the point where I can almost see my breath. I throw on my winter coat and insulated pants and dash over to the thermostat, which reads 50 degrees! So after turning it up to 90 with no effect, I assume, to my dismay, that the furnace is broken and that I have a very dismal couple of days ahead of me until my landlords can get someone out to fix the darn thing.

The only thing left to do is get out the folder of appliance manuals for the make and model of the furnace and start writing an email to my landlord. Fortunately, as I'm flipping through the furnace manual I see this little clause about proper technique for lighting the pilot light. The Pilot Light! Now I don't know much about furnaces, but that definitely sets off alarms. I head back outside to my utility closet and, after finally determining the location of the pilot and getting the cover off, discover that yes, of course, it's not lit. If fact, the thing had been turned off since I got there and the furnace had never been working. It had just never been cold enough for me to notice.

That's not quite the end of the story. Of course I'm relieved, but when I go to actually light it, an extensive search of my house reveals that there is no source of fire or flame anywhere! And thus the tale finally ends with a 2am bike ride to the nearest CVS to buy a lighter to light my pilot light so I can go to sleep with my winter coat hanging on the peg where it belongs while I'm inside.


Blogger Lewis said...

Every college senior should have to read this blog entry!

7:17 PM  
Blogger MiT Gr8 1 said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:54 PM  
Blogger MiT Gr8 1 said...

Oh Geoff.....Geoff Geoff Geoff......just shake your head "no" until the rocks spark and start fire...silly silly boy!

10:56 PM  
Blogger Amber said...

Only you.

2:01 AM  

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